Pumpkin emesis?

There seems to be a proliferation of pumpkin puke lately. Have you noticed?  Everywhere, on porches, patios, in pictures, jack o’ lanterns are projectile vomiting.  Sometimes, they vomit up seeds and pulp; other times, it’s guacamole or another gelatinous food.  Yum!

I say, go all out with the “Disgorging Gourd” theme. Here’s a great Halloween party idea: buy a jumbo pumpkin~an investment to be sure~and pay a teenager to carve it for you, asking him to create a pained expression of distress (sort of like his own when he doesn’t want to do chores.)  Meanwhile, purchase a child’s wading pool and line it with a clean table cloth or sheet and set this atop your serving table.  Position the carved pumpkin beside (or at the edge of) the wading pool and proceed to place all buffet items inside the pool.  Place a bowl of guacamole inside the pumpkin and spread it outside the mouth, into the pool. (You will need a lot of guac to keep the vomit stream connected and, thus, your theme intact.)

Here’s the best part~it doesn’t matter what you serve! Chicken wings? Throw them in there! Candy corn, sprinkle it on!  Beer? Bury the bottles in a corner in some ice.  A quenching quaff in the quagmire.

The message is, food all goes to the same place anyway, so dispense with order and arrangement. Besides, chicken wings are even better smeared with guacamole.